Confessions of an "AGING" Drama Queen

I confess....I am OLD!

2011-11-23T16:09:00.000-08:00

I can feel it everytime I find myself watching a "show" that I loved "back in the day".

I can see it everytime I put on make-up and there is one more wrinkle.

I can sense it when I can smell better then hear. (That can be a problem)

I can feel it when I work longer then 8 hours and EVERY part of my body hurts as if I have worked out for 8 hours. (So Sad)

I can see it in the mass amounts of gray hair I have.

I can hear it when the music is too loud.

Getting older is never fun but it sure doesn't mean the DRAMA goes away.

Toodles

GRRRRRR

2009-06-14T22:51:00.000-07:00

Can I ever just not be asked STUPID questions???? Or can people stop making STUPID comments?

My favorite today is ...."Why are you so different and distant?"....ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I have no reason to be different or distant but PEOPLE think I am being that way. So annoying!

I am trying...
I am worn out trying to please everyone.
I confess...this is the stuff that pushes me away even more.

Will I...???

2009-06-10T00:38:00.000-07:00

...Ever have THAT moment?
...Ever stop saying DUMB stuff?
...Ever just leave it be?
...Ever know what IT feels like?
...Ever just RELAX?
...Ever stop missing DAD?
...Ever stop feeling the way I do?
...Ever just go with the flow?

I confess....I just want THAT moment! Will I ever experience what everyone else does???

Was I NOT clear???

2009-06-04T06:09:00.000-07:00

I confess...I have a tendency to say alot.
I say things that are important and things that are unimportant. Regardless of that I want what I say to be heard and I want it to be understood. I want it to not go in one ear and out the other. I want if it is something that is going to make me happy....well....LISTEN!!!!
Is this too much to ask?
Apparently...it is.

I confess...

2009-05-24T20:33:00.000-07:00

for the first time in my life I can't figure out how to use a CELL PHONE. What is my issue???

I am the PROUD owner of a Samsung Behold.

This phone is pretty cool BUT it has so many bells and whistles that I can't even figure out how to set the RING TONE.

This phone is in TIME OUT...it has given me a headache and is probably giving me an ulcer!

Can't it be easier????

Time to bust out the Manual.....oh the joys of a new phone.

The IF's of my life

2009-05-02T15:48:00.000-07:00

IF...only I was taller then I would be the PERFECT weight
IF...only I had blonder hair then I would have more fun.
IF...only I was younger then I could really make up for lost time.
IF...only I wasn't adopted then I could not feel so disconnected
IF...only I wasn't the oldest then I would not be so bossy.
IF...only I was "smaller" then I would have what I want.
IF...only I had what I wanted would I truly be happy.
IF...only I had my dream job then I would not be stressed all the time.
IF...only I felt loved, appreciated, needed, cared for and wanted would I not be so insecure.
IF...only my Dad was here could I tell him what was really going on in my world.
IF...only I had made better decisions then I wouldn't have so many regrets.
IF...only I could be comfortable with myself.
IF...only I could let down the walls I have up.
IF...only I loved to exercise then maybe I would be a Size 2
IF...only I was N.A.C.H.
IF...only I could be everything that everyone wants me to be.
IF...only I could give up my gummy obsession then I would be closer to that Size 2.
IF...only I had a MAGIC WAND.

IF...IF...IF....I confess....the IF's could go on forever.

This is what I want...

2009-02-19T11:35:00.000-08:00

If you have NEVER listened to "Somebody" by Depeche Mode...I recommend it.

I confess....I can't get this song out of my head but there is "somebody" I can't get out of my head...and it is freaking me out! I am not supposed to feel this way...yikes. ( I will keep you posted)

SOMEBODY
I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
He'll get my support
He will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
He'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact he'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
He will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
And in a place like this
I'll get away with it

Oh Happy Day!

2009-02-14T10:31:00.000-08:00

Happy SAD! (Single Awareness Day)

Even though I don't have "someone"...I do have great family and friends that always think of me on this fabulous day. This year I even have a little something special....a "FAN"...LOL.

Hope you all have a great day! Love ya! XOXO

I confess....I have eaten way too much chocolate today....dang "V" chocolates.

DUH!!!!

2009-02-13T08:39:00.000-08:00

If he is not calling...He's just not that into you. (Simple)

If he is not making time for you...He's just not that into you. (Good reminder)

If he is married....He's just not that into you! (Got it)

I confess....VERY simple concepts...yet I tend to get "stuck on stupid" when it comes to the "boys" of my life.

My Plug: If you haven't seen this movie or read the book and you struggle with "relationships/dating" or just want a good laugh/cry....HIGHLY recommend them both.

Why Am I Not Surprised.....

2009-02-09T22:00:00.000-08:00

Everyday I am more and more shocked with things but then again...they should just be normal in my world.

I have officially decided to just be done for the moment with dating/boys. Let me tell you why.

I seem to find every guy that has unnecessary baggage. Let me explain. There is a difference between baggage that is "work-able" and that that is not...a CURRENT WIFE that you have been married to for 10 years and have 2 kids with is not "work-able".

Yes that is right...I was given the shock of a lifetime...yet again... that someone I was seeing was MARRIED. The clincher tonight was..."My wife gave me permission to come talk to you"...ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

I could go and on about what a "dirt bag" this guy is but I am actually a little afraid at this moment. A woman scorned is no one to mess with...meaning his wife. She may come "kill" me. I am the "gringa" that is taking her husband away...NOT anymore. She can have him.

I confess....I deserve better...but in the mean time I may become a NUN. :-)
I sure know how to pick them!

Lifesaver in a Can

2009-01-19T16:01:00.000-08:00

For some reason I am the "Queen of Flat Tires".

Seems everytime I turn around I have another flat. It is the MOST annoying thing ever.

I had a friend recommend a product called "Fix A Flat". I had never heard of it.

This product is a Little Miracle in a Can. Let me be the First to Confess... I was a little skeptical as to what it was but figured I could spent $ 4.47 at Wally World (Wal-mart) and give it a chance.

So...this morning I came out and of course had a FLAT...it had been low the last couple of days but I filled it up and just hoped it was nothing. (I am keeping the Tire Industry in Business with all the new tires I buy...Really no lie.) But it no avail..it was FLAT. I ran some errands with the Sister and then the Mother and then was going to deal with the Tire. I remembered the little can I bought and figured I would give it a chance.

Upon reading the back of it ...I learned that it was going to Inflate my tire so I could make it to my destination of choice and get it fixed....as soon as I placed the tube from the can to my tire...It was like a Christmas Miracle...the tire filled up. I was saved.

I could go on and on about this Little Miracle but I thought I would just share it with all of you. It made my day... Thank you Fix A Flat.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T22:55:00.001-08:00

Wow...Where does the time go? Seems like yesterday it was 2008 and now it is G-O-N-E!

The New Year always brings alot of time to reflect on the past year. I am happy to say that 2008 wasn't too bad YET it wasn't too good.

I learned alot of HARD lessons and CHANGED alot of things and am definitely a better person for it all.

I confess....kind of scared of what the New Year will bring... Day One has already brought me stress, frustration, disappointment and a stomach ache. Haha!

Do you EVER....

2008-12-14T15:31:00.000-08:00

Just feel "out of place"???

I am feeling that way today. I am feeling like I smell funny or look funny or something. Something has just been super off today for me. I can't figure out what it is....but wow...I am out of place.

It could be the fact that it is Sunday and I hate Sundays. Hate seeing all the families and hearing about all the "marriage" issues and the MILLIONS of crying children...I don't relate. I guess I will attribute my feelings today that it is Sunday.

But seriously...something is off. I showered today and everything....I confess...it's a weird day!

At least I have chocolate near and I NEVER feel out of place with chocolate. (Pathetic..I know)

OH MY GOSH!!!!

2008-12-08T17:17:00.000-08:00

Really...that is all I have to say. I am done! I have had it with dating and boys.
I guess I should clarify the lack of both is really the problem.

I have really come to a HUGE roadblock. I am soooooo confused and just not understanding things at all. I just don't get it!

I apparently made a "deal with the devil" somewhere in my life ... that has made it IMPOSSIBLE to have normal. I am left with....whatever.

GRRRR!!!!!!! I confess...I am annoyed...I am bewildered and I am DONE!

PS- It has been a while since I have posted. I have spent too much time in "retail therapy" and for the first time in WEEKS had a really good cry. Hallelujah! Now...I am back to vocalize how I feel. Reader...Beware.

All I needed was .....

2008-11-24T17:04:00.000-08:00

a SINGLE can of sliced olives yet ended up with a huge dent in my pocket book.

Let me say this...I love to shop. I have no problem shopping but my need for "retail therapy" has gotten out of hand lately. If I see it...I buy it....of course with in reason but really what is my deal????

My shopping started today at HALLMARK. I HEART Hallmark. They have fun stuff. I left buying a bday card for my grandmother, a bday gift for my grandmother and a NAUGHTY or NICE button thing. (You push it and it tells you if you have been naughty or nice..its entertaining BUT so not something I needed) Total Spent: $21.00..Not too bad considering ...

Then it was on to the grocery store...KOHLERS. I had to buy random thanksgiving stuff...no need to write it all out. It was all needs. Total Spent: $30.00

Next Stop...SMITH'S MARKETPLACE. They just opened in Alpine and I wanted to check it out. Now...keep in mind....I forgot a needed item for my thanksgiving stuff from previous stop so I was needing a SINGLE CAN OF SLICED OLIVES. My trip SHOULD'VE cost me $2.00 at the most. My total spent was $42.00. That is right...$42.00. I am slightly annoyed at myself. All I needed was olives. I left with Mascara, Scrubbing Bubbles, Cinnamon Santa's, Chewy Sour Christmas Nerds, The Nativity Story DVD ,50 Sexiest Men PEOPLE Mag and my can of olives. I needed none of the items EXCEPT For the olives. LAME. Really... what is my deal???

Oh...but it didn't stop there. KNEADERS is right next to the new Smith's. I went in there and spent $25.00...ON BREAD! Who does that??? Actually it was spent on Pumpkin Bread, Caramel Apple Bread, Fruit Tarts, Cheesecake Brownies, German Chocolate Brownies and Soup. PATHETIC!...I am pathetic!

Ridiculous! I tell you! Simply silly that I needed nothing that I bought today. I only needed to spent $40.00. I just bought to bought. Good thing....I got a Promotion and that I am SINGLE. GEE!

I may need counseling or a second job. LOL

I've been tagged!

2008-11-24T12:19:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged by my great friend...AMBER! Love ya! (Forever ago she tagged me. I suck)

Here's the deal: Post these rules on your blog. List: 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 facts about yourself. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog!

3 Joys:
My Nephew: He is soooo cute
My Cell Phone: It is my saving grace. My connection to the outside world.
Internet: Without it I would die!!!

3 Goals:
Be more patient: I struggle with this...duh!
Be More Grateful: No explanation needed :-)
Exercise: I am getting chunky! Not good at all. LOL

3 Obsessions/Collections:
The Office: My NEW obsession!
Music: Too much of it in my life but would die without it.
Candy: Can't get enough of it...therefore why I am getting chunky!

3 Facts about me:
I work too much..but getting better at that.
I am obsessed with make-up!
I am the oldest of 4 and it shows. LOL I am bossy.

I would tag people...but I am not going to...do this if you want. I only did it because I am single and have plenty of time on my hands. :-)

Enjoy!

Ten Things I am THANKFUL for....

2008-11-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

1. The Atonement
2. Cell Phones
3. Computers
4. Lip Gloss
5. MAC Make-up
6. The Office
7. Tanning Beds
8. Egg Nog
9. Journals/Books
10. My IPOD!!!

I figured since I was complaining on what was bad in my life that I would come up with things that are good in my life. I am very blessed and have much to be thankful for.

"Count your blessings...Name them one by one"

Life is a HIGHWAY...and I want to ride it all night long

2008-11-20T10:31:00.000-08:00

There has been alot that has gone on the last couple of months. I don't usually talk much about anything except my issues with boys but today I am feeling a little bit different.

I have come to the conclusion...therefore I will confess that life is very interesting and with that comes change and sometimes heartache and hard times. All of which I am experiencing right now.

Oh... the joys of my "single" life. You know... I am pretty content in life expect for when things get turned upside down.

One of the BIG changes has been my job. I got a Promotion about a month and a half ago...so a fairly new thing. It is a BIG deal but yet no one gets how hard the transition has been. I have had to be very careful what I say and do. I have had to keep things confident and not say anything. All of which as not hard BUT it is hard when others feel that things should be how they have always been. Things change when you become the manager. You are responsible for more and take on alot more. Relationships have been rough. It will get better but sometimes things change. But it is ONLY work. Needless to say it has been hard. I have lost sleep over it.

That leaves the hard times. I have been in a big slump. I went from being "kind of a big deal" to...."people could really give a hoot about me". (Yes..this is my pity party for a second) I don't think anyone understands what it is like to be a SINGLE member in a church that focus so much on family. You are left out. No one wants to talk to you. No one even wants to say Hi to you. I am in a great ward BUT...they all talk about being friendly and saying hi to each other...so when I do this I am SUNNED. They will look right at me...I say HI and NOTHING. Am I repulsive or what??? It is just HI!!!! I have gotten to the point that I have followed in their ways and do the same. THAT IS BAD! I am not like that. I am social and very friendly. I have a ridiculous calling...which ADDS to my frustration as well. The SINGLE ADULT REP . needed to be taken Funny thing.... I have not been given any instruction on it at all and it has been 2 months. Can't a single girl serve??? GEE! I am trying not to be frustrated but no one knows where I have came from. I have been INACTIVE for so long and living a LIFESTYLE that was not healthy and that did not allow the spirit in my life. I made a HUGE change. I was doing fantastic but I need to be needed just like the married people do. I know if I had a husband and kids EVERYTHING would be different. Well... here is my declaration...I am SINGLE!!!! Get over it. I am sorry that I am not single and frumpy. Maybe that would be better for me as well. Now I am just rambling. I am annoyed, frustrated and tired. Not a good combo.

I am being honest here peeps. Take it for what it is worth. Life is interesting. My slump will end. I will figure it out. I always do.

If you read...you must comply

2008-10-31T10:10:00.000-07:00

Today is a different sort of post. It is a DISCLAIMER post.

I feel that "people" read my blog and think they can be mad at me for something that was said on here. YOU CAN'T. Read what the title is of my blog and that should tell you enough.

These are MY CONFESSIONS! My true feelings. Many of them written out of frustration BUT...many of them being written out of being hurt so many times by YOU!

Maybe you ...Dear Reader...don't understand what a CONFESSION is...let me explain.
According to www.dictionary.com there are numerous definitions to what a confession is. See below....take your pick!

1 acknowledgment; avowal; admission: a confession of incompetence.
2.acknowledgment or disclosure of sin or sinfulness, esp. to a priest to obtain absolution.
3. something that is confessed.

The true definition... is my definition...basically, it is how I feel. I am confessing to you how I feel. So if you are bugged by that Larry..Curly..or Mo....(I was about to use real names but thought I would spare YOUR further embarrassment) stop reading my blog.!!! If you want your feelings hurt just as mine have been hurt... then read on.

Remember... these are MY confessions ONLY based on how YOU have treated ME! You can't be mad at that.

What goes around..comes around! (Thank goodness for JT)

Happy Halloween!!!

Just Because I am "single" and you are "single"...

2008-10-13T15:25:00.000-07:00

DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE BFF!

I am so sick of people thinking that because we both share a common thing that we are automatically connected at the hip and have to be "best friends forever".

I had an experience yesterday that has put me over the edge. I was sitting at church and this woman leaned over and asked me some ridiculous question and I answered and then very rudely leaned back and did not want to talk anymore. Well...somehow she was still talking and going on and on about all these activities she does and how she is single and blah blah blah.

Anyways..she got wind that I was single and freaked. She started to talk to me again...she was mentioning how she did dinner at her house with singles....blah blah...blah.....I DON'T CARE!!!!

I politely told her who I was...." I am kind of a big deal'.....no seriously I tried to be nice and introduce myself and that was that. She really thought because I was "single" and she was as well that we had to sit by each other and be friends. Listen I am not friends with crazy.
She was crazy!!!!

I am soooo sick of it! Just because we share a "status" together does not mean I have to be nice to you...let alone sit by you. GEE!

I am bugged....annoyed!!! GRR!

Plan B wasn't supposed to DUMP ME!

2008-10-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

Like everyone in the dating world we have our "back up plans".

Let's be honest we all have them...so don't pretend you don't.

Anyways..I got DUMPED by my "back up plan. "

My "Back Up Plan" was this guy that I have known for 3 years. We have kind of always dated on and off during that time. Nothing serious but that is what it was. He was fun...we had a good time together but he wasn't aggressive. He was always shy or timid or something and it kind of bugged. I never wanted anything more because of those things YET...I kept him as a "back up plan". ...Mean...I know but he was a good friend none the less.

So...Monday we HAD plans and Friday we were SUPPOSED to have plans ...but...I get a text from him on Monday morning stating that he couldn't move forward with me. ( Keep in mind..he would always tell me he loved me and call me his wife....weird!!!) I questioned him on what that meant and he said..." I prayed about you last night and about us and got my answer and it was NO!".

I was shocked.....well... not really.....he was just my "back up plan" but still!!! He prayed about us? We weren't anything!

I confess.... it did sting a little..alright ...alot....only because now I am back to square one. Now my "back up plan" is gone. He was supposed to be there for the long haul in case I needed him....lol...Oh well!!!

Time to find a new Plan.

Loud and Intimidating...I think not!

2008-10-03T10:35:00.001-07:00

Randomly... I hear reasons on why I am single. I confess... at times I ask for it ... and of course it is never what you want to hear.

A good friend of mine... that I have known for years ( 10 to be exact) ...told me that I had a "Character Flaw". When I asked what that meant he said he didn't know and had to go. Does he even know what a "Character Flaw" is??? It has been a while since he has said this but it has lingered in my mind for a while.

A guy I used to work with told me I had "b*tch face". WHATEVER. He explained that I had this face that looked mean. Cute face... but if you didn't know me he said I looked mean. He said if he saw me on the street, he would think ...cute girl but he would never approach me. Once he got to know me he took back what he said but still...do I look that mean???

My favorite one recently was that it was mentioned that I was "loud and intimidating". Are you serious??? When I think of loud... I think of annoying and obnoxious. When I think of intimidating... I think of someone that is sure of themselves yet unapproachable. Neither of the two are good. Trust me.

Here lies the problem...I am very social, outgoing, chatty,friendly and confident. I speak my mind and don't crawl under a rock when a tough situation comes my way. I didn't know any of those things were bad.

Its funny...a guy can be all those things and it is fantastic. A girl is any of those things and it is bad...very bad!

For all those that think you are great at coming up with reasons why I am single.....GIVE IT UP!!! Not one person has given me a solid answer that has any validity. Try ..I dare you!

So what if I am any of these things. My "charming and delighfulness" will never go away. You're reading this aren't you... Caught ya!!! Haha. :-)

Are you dating anyone?? ...Why????

2008-10-01T17:14:00.000-07:00

I confess... that has got to be the most annoying question..EVER!!!

The response is always...NO....and...I don't know.

Me and dating are not BFF. I struggle with dating for some reason. (I know the reasons. I will confess about that..later on)

I have decided that with dating..'when it rains, it pours'. There are moments where there are a plethora of boys around and then nothing. It is so weird. They go through cycles. I hate it most when they go away and then randomly come out of the woodwork. It is always some annoying text..." Hey. How are you?" Why do they care after MONTHS/YEARS how I am. So annoying!!!!

People ask way too many questions. The married one always comes up as well. "Why are you not married?'...Answer..." I have to date first before I can get married." or "I don't know". DUMB!!!!

Maybe one day...I will get asked this question and it won't bug so bad. Hopefully at that point it will be answered proudly....with a "Yes..I am dating someone. " ( Yeah right...who am I kidding. My Prince Charming got lost in the forest...or plays for the other team)

"Bitter, Party of One...your table is ready"....its been that kind of day.

Where do I know you from???

2008-09-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

That is the most annoying question EVER!... Actually the worst pick up line EVER!!

I can't even count how many times...a day...I hear..."Where do I know you from?" ..."I know your face."..."Do you have a sister named Britney?''...."You look like this girl I know."..."Where have you lived?" ...I AM NOT THAT GIRL!!!!

I must have a very familiar face. I hear it at work...Deseret Book...the store...randomly...it is getting to be a nuisance to me.

The last time I heard it..I did in deed know the person but denied that I did. He was with his girlfriend for heaven sakes and he keeping saying..." I would never forget that cute face..where do I know you from?" I never gave up where we knew each other from. Our encounter was random... many moons ago so it was not worth going into.

I had another encounter at work...where the guy kept following me around while his wife was getting a drink...claiming that he KNEW me....she was so annoyed by it she blurted out..."Maybe she was your wife in a previous life!" He walked away at that point. Not only was I bugged she was bugged as well.

I know...I should be flattered that people want to figure out where they know me from. The reality is..unless you know, don't bring it up. It is annoying and I have to be polite and explain that I don't know you from anywhere. It has got to be the worse line ever! I say the worse line ever because I mainly hear it from guys. It's like it is their way of sparking up a convo. Bad move Dudes!

Side Note: My family members don't believe on this on UNTIL they are with me and it happens. If you don't believe..call me up...we can hang...and we will count how many times I hear.."Where do I know you from?"

Side Note #2: Guys please find a new approach. :-)

The "Cotton Candy" Girl always wins!!!

2008-09-28T18:26:00.000-07:00

Two Types of Girls:

The "Caramel Apple" Girl and The "Cotton Candy" Girl.

Let me explain....its gonna be good so brace yourself. Better yet get a snack and enjoy a good read. ;-)

Lets start with The "Cotton Candy" Girl. The CC girl is all whipped up... perfectly painted...looks sweet....perfect clothes...great hair...lets just say perfect looking in every way. BUT...when you get to know her or bite into it...there is nothing there...it just dissolves in your mouth. You are always left feeling a little unsatisfied.

Now onto The "Caramel Apple" girl. The CA girl is maybe not so perfectly painted....has some flaws...semi perfect hair...tan...a little round...lets just say the caramel apple girl tries but once you get to know her you realize that her looks have been very deceiving. Once you bite into her you are satisfied to the core. (Get it...apple..core)

Don't get me wrong BOTH are great. Both have a lot to offer. The problem is The "Cotton Candy" girls always wins....strictly based on looks. The "Carmel Apple" girl never gets the respect she deserves.

So...for all you out there..don't forget about the "Caramel Apple" girl. They always have more to offer and are ALWAYS more fun.

Can you guess which girl I am???.... lol

Where have all the "Cowboys" gone???

2008-09-25T21:58:00.000-07:00

I know that I am not Paula Cole and that I should not be using her song as a title but in this case..I must. I must confess I do not know where to meet people anymore...and when I mean people..I mean boys...men...whatever. ( My Mother hates when I call them boys..she says "men")

I don't know where to go! I think I have tried it all.

I did the online thing and trust me I met ALOT of "men" but there was too much drama with all of that. The sad thing is... years later the same people are still online. They never change. I realize people have had success with that..but not me. So..been there done that ...and never want it again.

The next option...at least what I am told as an option are....Bars and Clubs. That is not my scene. I don't want to meet someone there. Just bad! That is all I have to say about that.

Now I have heard people say go to a grocery store and hang out there. YEAH RIGHT! What do I do strike up a conversation over the eggs. "Wow...the chicken must've been busy...there are alot of eggs here" That is would not be a good opener and I would sound like a grew up on top of a mountain. Gee. So ...grocery store...out. Side Note: The Harmon's on Bangeter does attract some very cute "boys"....lol...In case you wanted to know.

There is always the option of my friends setting me up. Funny thing... in the years I have been on this earth my friends have never ONCE wanted to set me up with anyone they knew. That is pathetic. I am good enough for my friends but not good enough for their friends. FINE! Be that way! I don't care.

Now we are down to work and church. Work is never an option. The problem with work is I spend so much time there that it would be a perfect venue to meet people but how approachable do you look in a "work" sweatshirt and your hair pulled back and a hat. That is not cute. Never bringing sexy back in that! With church is it the same thing. People are there for one thing. No one talks to anyone unless you have kids so if you are single you are just ignored. The single guy(s) in my ward just play with their blackberry and never speak. Great place to meet people...NOT!!! (Yes...I said that....bringing 90's back)

So...as you can see...I am at a lost. I need some help. I need ideas. Where does a single girl meet a single boy??? Where are they??? What is the secret???

I just may not be that into you..

2008-09-24T21:37:00.000-07:00

Or better yet..I may just not want to talk to you!!!

Why don't people get the clue??? If you are calling and I am NOT answering there may be a reason.

The reasons being:

Working
Tanning
Busy
Shopping
Working
Busy
Tanning
Blogging :-)
Working

The list could go on. ( I know I said working more than once but I tend to work alot these days...just ask the payroll guy..haha and yes I tan alot...I may get skin cancer but I will at least be tan in the mean time.)

Anyways..there are good reasons as to why I do not answer your call....the most important...I am "JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU" and YOUR POINTLESS CONVERSATION. I am referring one to the "last boy" that CLAIMS he got married but I am beginning to question it. He is STILL calling and when I say calling ...I mean calling. He is calling me many times a day and I am not answering. I made the mistake of answering the other day and I hung up on him after 2 minutes of listening to him ramble on about his ex wife (wife #2) and his child. (Child with wife # 2) I did not want to hear what he had to say. Plus he has a "so called wife". Talk to her. Tell her your "drama" . She is your wife. GEE!

The other "boys" that are calling are not all there. They tend to be a "taco short of a combo meal" and are already walking me down the isle. They want to talk about our future. WHATEVER. We don't have a future because I am "just not that into you" ( Great book BTW)
I don't want to talk about stuff that is just dumb and more important I don't want to talk to you. I spend my whole day talking and the last thing I want to do is talk to someone that annoys me. or better yet has nothing to say.

To all my readers...this is not intended for you. You should know better by now. You ALL know the people I am referring to. You all have people in your life that bug you. This is why caller ID was invented. If you don't want to talk..don't answer. It works for me.

One day ..hopefully...the people in "my dating world "will get the clue..until then they will get to listen to a lovely ring back of " I'll be loving you long time" ( love Mariah) and an oh so "charming and delightful" voice message.

Keep in mind if I was interested I would answer...since I am not...please find a new friend to annoy. Thank you!

The grass may NOT be greener

2008-09-21T21:10:00.001-07:00

So..I have been pretty vocal about the fact that I want a family. That is nothing new that I need to confess. What I do need to confess is the fact "the grass may not be greener" on the other side of what I have.

Sundays are a hard day for me. Rightfully so...it is a family oriented day. I spend it with my family but I want to spend it with "my" family. (One day...one day...I will keep telling myself that)

Anyways...today I was happy with my life...just for today. I was sitting in church hearing all those crying kids and was soooooo very thankful that I did not have to be the one to get up ...take them out...change their diaper...feed them food...entertain them...etc. I was just happy enough entertaining myself.

Granted...it is something I want but today that grass was not looking so green. With every cry and tantrum I was pleased with being single and kid free. The grass on my side of the fence with all its "singleness" is looking pretty fantastic today.

Side note: (Brace yourself) I admire all those woman and men that have patience with their children but keep in mind that the whole world does not want to hear YOUR child cry. If they cry in church..GET UP and leave. The rocking of them and shushing them doesn't work. Maybe you didn't know that. Thank you! My ears will appreciate it.

No Baggage!

2008-09-19T09:19:00.000-07:00

I am convinced I need "baggage" in order to be more desirable. Now...if you had/have baggage PLEASE read this with a grain of salt...It is just a "Confession of a SINGLE Drama Queen"...literally!!!!

I guess the fact that I am "forever 28" and have never been married is not a good thing. If I had 2 ex-husbands....4 Kids...a dog...a cat... I would be more appealing. Can I buy these things??? Maybe I should just lie about it??? (haha)

I know of a "woman" that has been married 5 times in the last 2 or 3 years....REALLY!... I can't even find one husband how can she find 5??? She has multiple kids with all of them. DRAMA! Maybe I should find out what her secret is???

I am happy that I don't have "baggage" but ....it can be very frustrating when I hear of people that continually get re-married and have more kids when they already have plenty of both. Can't they leave some for the rest of us??? :-)

Disclaimer: Let me say this again...I know those of you that may read this and think I am being mean but I am not. I am just being honest in my feelings. (Imagine that...honesty in this world)

Purses and Boys

2008-09-16T21:43:00.000-07:00

I am coming to the conclusion that I am fickle....like I am with Purses ...I am the same with boys.

Every couple of weeks I get this ITCH to get a new purse. One minute I like a black purse...the next a yellow one. Then its not big enough so we go bigger. Then its on to a shoulder bag instead of a handbag. Then I will find the perfect one and it will BREAK. So the hunt starts all over again.

This is exactly how it is with Boys. One minute I like the good boy...the next the bad boy. Then its on to the Latin boy ....next the white boy. We go for younger and then we want older. Then we are OK with shorter but taller is better. The list goes one.

Eventually I always find the perfect purse...maybe one day the Perfect Boy. He doesn't have to be perfect...just perfect for me.

For those that are interested...I am sporting a Yellow Purse these days...and diggin on a white boy. (haha)

Dogs are to be Mans Best Friend....NOT ME!!!

2008-09-14T18:15:00.000-07:00

I am a little tired of being every guys..PAL, CHUM, CONFIDANT, BUDDY, ...basically being their BEST FRIEND.

I am always...
Their shoulder to cry on.
Their listening ear.
Their advice giver.
Their relationship guru.
Their back up girl/plan.
Their date planner.
Their.."can you find me a girl?"

Goodness...I am the person they always call when their life is in shambles. Honestly...I don't need anymore guy friends...I need a HUSBAND. ( That was bold of me to say..lol)

Really...I love the "boy friends" that I have..but there is no more room in the Inn. ( Its Sunday thought I would throw that in. )

Ladies...you must know what I am feeling. Guys...Know that I can't be that girl anymore. If you need advice or anything...go to your Mother or better yet your girlfriend, wife or DOG!!!!

This was a VERY BOLD confession. I am bringing out the big guns! Please note this does not apply to all my "boy friends"...you should know who you are. Call me if you are confused.

Side Note: Why do married men find me charming and delightful???? I can't have them...they are married!!! To be Continued...

The Power of Good-Bye

2008-09-13T10:33:00.000-07:00

I have recovered since my last post. All I needed was 24 hours and some Diet Dr Pepper and Halloween Candy. :-)

Being single does have it advantages at times. I get to say "good-bye" and move on. The power of "good bye" is great. I am turning over a new leaf. I understand that there are people that come into your life for a moment. They teach you a lesson of some sort and you are a better person for it. They make you realize things about yourself that you otherwise would never do.

I have learned that I am courageous and that I can do anything I set my mind too. I can stand up for myself and walk away when I need to. The "last boy" taught me that. He taught me that I didn't have to compromise anything YET he wanted to me to compromise everything. Good luck to him and his new wife and....GOOD-BYE!

Lessons learned are the best!

The pity party is over.... time to polish the nails, put on the lip-gloss and move on.

Life is good! :-)

Must Confess....I am slightly broken

2008-09-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

So...my last confession wasn't supposed to come true... AGAIN!!!...but it did.

After a long day at work today I received a Text from the "last boy" telling me that he got married on Tuesday (9/9/08) in the SLC Temple to this girl he was dating. Keep in mind the girl he was dating while he was dating me. (Whatever!) Anyways- funny thing was that he was just at my house 2 weeks ago hanging out with me and then all of a sudden he is MARRIED. He only knew the girl less then 2 months...if that. GEE!!!!

I...yet again am/was the "in between" girl. I am a little worn out and mellow today. I never really thought I would continually be that girl. Folks...I am!!!!

I may be having a pity party of sorts right now. Filled with gummy pumpkins, cinnamon devils and diet dr pepper. ( You know its rough if the diet dr p has made an appearance).

Peeps...The boy was never right for me. We were on different pages...REALLY!!! But it hurts just a bit. Give me 24 hours and I will be good as new. :-) I always bounce back.

Stay tuned...my saga keeps getting better.

I am the "In-Between" Girl

2008-09-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

What does that mean?? Let me tell you...

I am the one that guys date before the next "best" thing comes around. I think things are going well and then BAM!... They are gone. They have moved on to another and then that is the girl they have a serious relationship with and or get married to. Seriously...what is wrong with me??? I teach them the ways and then some other girl gets to benefit from it. Is that fair??? I think not!!!!

I confess... I am sick of being the one "in between". I know...I know...one day my prince will come but, I am thinking he may have gotten lost in the Forest. :-)

Disclaimer: I am not a bitter girl. I have to laugh at my misfortune with dating in order to not "breakdown". This is all in good fun. Therapy....right??? Lets be honest...I am just saying what everyone is thinking.

I confess.. I am " Grace"

2008-09-10T18:01:00.000-07:00

I have decided that my "gay-dar" may be broken. It is a very sad thing. I seriously may be wasting my time and I don't know what to do???? I have been "Grace" for quite sometime. I always seem to find the super cute.. super fashionable... super listener..super shopper.. super fun guy and they always take me to "TGI Fridays" and tell me they are GAY.

I have many friends that are GAY and I love them dearly. They are the best girlfriends a girl could have but when I am trying to have kids and a family they are not the best ones to fall in love or like with. I fear that I may be loosing my touch. I could be finding all the wrong guys. I don't want to be "Grace" for the rest of my life. Remember ..."Will and Grace" never ended up together. So should I be looking for unfashionable, sports oriented, non sauce loving men???? What is a SINGLE girl to do????

The confessions are only going to get better.... :-)

My FIRST Confession...

2008-09-09T19:38:00.000-07:00

I have many confessions as a SINGLE drama queen.

I was told today that all I ever do is talk about boys! Of course I do...I am 35...living in Utah Valley and SINGLE. I am almost a spinster. What else am I supposed to talk about??? I can't talk about my job. Its too much drama. I can't talk about KIDS...I have none! I can't talk about a husband..I don't have one. The only thing I can talk about is BOYS and the lack of them. I will never figure them out. I can't decide if they are gay or straight. Black or white. Alien or human. I am confussed by them on a daily basis. I must confess..I like BOYS! Therefore I will continue to talk about them on a daily basis.

Stay Tuned for my next Confession!