I confess....I am OLD!

I can feel it everytime I find myself watching a "show" that I loved "back in the day".

I can see it everytime I put on make-up and there is one more wrinkle.

I can sense it when I can smell better then hear. (That can be a problem)

I can feel it when I work longer then 8 hours and EVERY part of my body hurts as if I have worked out for 8 hours. (So Sad)

I can see it in the mass amounts of gray hair I have.

I can hear it when the music is too loud.

Getting older is never fun but it sure doesn't mean the DRAMA goes away.

Toodles

GRRRRRR

Can I ever just not be asked STUPID questions???? Or can people stop making STUPID comments?

My favorite today is ...."Why are you so different and distant?"....ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I have no reason to be different or distant but PEOPLE think I am being that way. So annoying!

I am trying...
I am worn out trying to please everyone.
I confess...this is the stuff that pushes me away even more.

Will I...???

...Ever have THAT moment?
...Ever stop saying DUMB stuff?
...Ever just leave it be?
...Ever know what IT feels like?
...Ever just RELAX?
...Ever stop missing DAD?
...Ever stop feeling the way I do?
...Ever just go with the flow?

I confess....I just want THAT moment! Will I ever experience what everyone else does???

Was I NOT clear???

I confess...I have a tendency to say alot.
I say things that are important and things that are unimportant. Regardless of that I want what I say to be heard and I want it to be understood. I want it to not go in one ear and out the other. I want if it is something that is going to make me happy....well....LISTEN!!!!
Is this too much to ask?
Apparently...it is.

I confess...

for the first time in my life I can't figure out how to use a CELL PHONE. What is my issue???

I am the PROUD owner of a Samsung Behold.

This phone is pretty cool BUT it has so many bells and whistles that I can't even figure out how to set the RING TONE.

This phone is in TIME OUT...it has given me a headache and is probably giving me an ulcer!

Can't it be easier????

Time to bust out the Manual.....oh the joys of a new phone.

The IF's of my life

IF...only I was taller then I would be the PERFECT weight
IF...only I had blonder hair then I would have more fun.
IF...only I was younger then I could really make up for lost time.
IF...only I wasn't adopted then I could not feel so disconnected
IF...only I wasn't the oldest then I would not be so bossy.
IF...only I was "smaller" then I would have what I want.
IF...only I had what I wanted would I truly be happy.
IF...only I had my dream job then I would not be stressed all the time.
IF...only I felt loved, appreciated, needed, cared for and wanted would I not be so insecure.
IF...only my Dad was here could I tell him what was really going on in my world.
IF...only I had made better decisions then I wouldn't have so many regrets.
IF...only I could be comfortable with myself.
IF...only I could let down the walls I have up.
IF...only I loved to exercise then maybe I would be a Size 2
IF...only I was N.A.C.H.
IF...only I could be everything that everyone wants me to be.
IF...only I could give up my gummy obsession then I would be closer to that Size 2.
IF...only I had a MAGIC WAND.

IF...IF...IF....I confess....the IF's could go on forever.

This is what I want...

If you have NEVER listened to "Somebody" by Depeche Mode...I recommend it.

I confess....I can't get this song out of my head but there is "somebody" I can't get out of my head...and it is freaking me out! I am not supposed to feel this way...yikes. ( I will keep you posted)


SOMEBODY
I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
He'll get my support
He will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
He'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact he'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
He will understand me


I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
And in a place like this
I'll get away with it